I Lost Her in the Quiet

I had my own choices

once,

in a new and unfamiliar world.

I was allowed to speak —

to name my fears,

to listen to the quiet alarms inside me.

Then something larger moved in.

A force.

A season.

A life stage.

A voice that wasn’t mine.

Maybe a bully.

Maybe time.

Maybe I still don’t know

what the hell happened.

I only know

I lost her.

Buried under expectations,

under survival,

under a pile of things I never chose

but learned to carry.

Is this it?

Fighting every day

to keep the peace

with too many branches pulling at me —

while secretly

wanting to burn the whole damn tree

just to see what’s left standing.